Be Still

Sometimes Life Happens When We're Busy Making Plans.

The thing about being Type A is that I like to plan, allot! For the first time in, oh probably the last 2 years, my life is pretty quiet. There isn't much going on and that is good, most would say, but for some reason I find it hard to be still and well....just be still. I feel like I planned my life out basically from college on and if you've read any of my previous posts you'll likely agree that life doesn't always go as we plan it and it obviously didn't go the way I planned it years ago, I have come to realize that sometimes it happens on it's own while we're preoccupied planning it.

I started seeing a counselor when I moved to Boulder, simply to work through some of the stuff I've been struggling with the past few years. It's nice to talk to my mom and my friends but it helps to have and unbiased "professional" opinion from time to time. I guess it's an expensive way to help me discover a little bit more about myself. :) I usually walk in there with a million things to discuss and the past few times I've been in she'll ask me "so, how have you been? how are things?" and I just sit there staring back at her wondering if I should make something fascinating up just for an hours worth of entertainment or if I should just say "not much" for once and know that life is A-OK if I'm not worried or stressed about something.

Lately, we've been discussing the future and I'm definitely more antsy than I've been in a while about it. I feel kind of stuck. Why do we always feel we have to know what's next? Isn't it OK not to know and just let life happen? If we knew what was around every corner life wouldn't be very exciting. There would be no sense of adventure, no surprises, and no sense of discovery in the little things that come our way. I want to wake up each day with the people I love, take my carefree dogs for a walk, enjoy a beautiful sun rising over the Flatirons, and simply be still!

I often times feel very unsettled in soul but need to be reminded that I am small and there are much bigger things of this world than me. Life will happen regardless of my planning it.

My thoughts bring me back to Psalms 36:10
"Be still and know that I am God".